[MORPHINISM]. An anonymous manuscript of "Memoirs of a Morphinist" from the turn of the 20th century.

[MORPHINISM]. Anonymous manuscript of "Memoirs of a morphinist" from the turn of the 20th century.
Double-sided manuscript on 3 cards form. 34x21 cm. Anonymous description of addiction and recovery from addiction from the late 19th or early 20th century. The author begins his story on the eve of the end of his hospitalization. He writes: "At last I leave the hospital tomorrow. Admittedly, I am not yet healthy, as I am almost blind in one eye and writhing in maddening pains [...]. The doctors promise me recovery, but a long happy life cannot one day make up for what I have suffered here. This treatment was a hellish torment. My mind demanded morphine, I was close to insanity, murder or suicide." He recalls memories of persecutory mania-induced aggression, as a result of which "the director and doctors [...] decided at random to withdraw morphine from me completely at the risk of death." The reaction did not have to wait long: "my whole body seemed to be on fire, and I often jumped out of bed, because in truth I thought the bed beneath me had caught fire, the delusion was so deluded that I thought I could smell my body burning [...]. Added to this came constant painful diarrhea and images of a stray imagination." He describes numerous delusions that he retained in his memory. E.g.: "Blood was pouring over the threshold and in my room stood a foot high, in one corner lay piles of chopped human flesh - just my parents'," "The whole room was filled with bloody human bones, on which the most beautiful flowers grew, changing kaleidoscopically in color and shape and mixing their smells with the rotting stench of bones." He ends his harrowing tale with a confession: "sooner I recovered than everyone thought. But once again I almost lost my life for joy when I saw my parents for the first time. The visit was short, there was too much emotion and delight for my wounded heart. Just as soon as my parents left again I got Kollaps, it was the last one, but I was hanging in grave danger of life." Folding marks, good condition.